Time Passing

I remember when I was little waiting for something was so hard for me. If I had to wait a day to play with a friend, wait for the weekend to have sleepovers, or wait a month until school was out it seemed to kill me. When I was young it seemed as though each moment was important. The days weren't long enough to include everything I wanted to do. From watching a favorite TV show to playing outside or doing sports, it all seemed to be on the top of the list. I never thought much beyond the current week so living in the moment was quite simple.

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Now as I get older it seems as though my plans take on a whole different type of time frame. What can I do now so that in 5 years I can stay at home with my kids? Judd and I now talk about plans for next year. Things we want to accomplish before I'm 30, before we retire etc. This is so crazy to me.

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I find myself talking to friends about going to dinner and saying "this week is so busy how about two weeks from now?" as if two weeks time is nothing.

I'm working on a big project with China that I'm hoping to have all set in stone by March of NEXT YEAR... what?

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And with time passing I find myself putting off things that seem so little, that I feel I will have time for later. Such as a photo session with Taylie in her blessing dress. I have put this off and put this off until now and I'm thinking it is too late.

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Judd and I have been wanting to take a vacation, or go camping to just get away, but so many things just seem to take priority.

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I was reading the news when I read just a regular story about a family in Utah with a child about the age of Kaden. The mom is 4 months pregnant with a daughter and in March their son started tilting his head to the right and they found out that he has a rare cancer that will likely kill him before a year. Though there are many stories like this out there, it got me thinking.

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Seriously...

what am I doing with my time?

I work and work and work to buy things

I have lists miles long of things that I still need to complete

I come home from work only to have a whole other type of list to do ... while my kids quickly are growing before my eyes.

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I spend too much time trying to get the stupid stuff done like:

laundry

cooking

cleaning

photos

work

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When really if I was told that me or someone I knew only had a year left to live, I could find time.

Time to visit,

time to play,

time to go to the park

so if I COULD make time then, why can't I make time NOW?

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Last night I went home from my parents with a list of 20 contacts from China that I needed to email. And then those emails needed to be put into a spreadsheet and I had 3 companies to do research on.

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Instead I spent time with my kids.

They'll never remember that I did.

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But I feel better having a load of work incomplete than a child that grew up in a blink of an eye while I was busy "working".

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It is hard for me to be a person that lives in the moment. I'm terrible at it. Even when I try it seems like the momentum to keep it up dies after a week or two. So here is my new resolve to start being a little better at taking time away from things that don't matter and giving it to things that do.

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My two favorite quotes (and I don't know where they came from)

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"the things that matter most should never be at the mercy of the things that matter least"

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"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things."

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And those are my thoughts for today :)